Interesting Conflicts, Conflicts of Interest* 

Feature by Delegate of The Guardian, Gloria Yi

Gaddafi’s cabinet opens window for open dialogues but instead closes it and turns up the thermostat. It was too cold.

“You are infiltrating our organization without our permission.” Libyans with Liberty, a civilian group that uses peaceful protest against the regime, burst in with a captive Italian spy in the first committee of the morning. The concealed writhing head gave no clues to his motives. Unable to communicate effectively with the spy, the cabinet resorted to throwing spaghetti at him to see what stuck.

Members of the cabinet were equally confused. The directive Spies Before Lies had only Libyan operatives engaged in espionage, so the spy couldn’t have been from within...could he?

As an ultimatum, Libyans for Liberty called for open dialogue; Gaddafi’s cabinet gave it to them.

With the large number of directives written simultaneously, concern for the lack of discussion surfaced after the most recent crisis update. One minister defended the directive-happy majority of the cabinet. “We’re fighting for our lives here, when we respond to a crisis. We respond in such a way because we owe it to our people,” he said. Few understood what was really implied under his frosty breath: “we owe it to ourselves.”

Having gone undercover into multiple committee sessions, The Guardian found divisions in the cabinet to be like any other: choose peaceful or violent means? take a local or international focus? pursue secrecy or transparency? think the chair a James Franco lookalike or not? It was too early to tell if the events of the day would actually unravel into an explosion of disagreement, but one thing was certain. Exposure to the g word that rhymes with unravel triggered unusually aggressive responses in the characters and increased their stamina.

An anonymous leak given to The Gguardian revealed underhanded drama as well. The forged evidence that was exposed showed that the Minister of Education was framed and that he was only guilty of organizing peace talks. The evidence was found much too late, but is helpful in questioning the loyalty of any given member in the cabinet. As the saying goes, justice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere.

The difference between repression and freedom seemed to manifest themselves physically in the room, as members blurred the boundary between motioning for mods or unmods. Why is it that “unmod” rolls off the tongue ever so smoothly (a Freudian slip perhaps…)?

Rolling past the mountains of “wholesome” intercepted crisis notes and the unknown whereabouts of the Minister of Health and the Minister of the National Bank, the committee is racing towards a climatic ending. Self interest and common good conflict at the very core of the committee, but the forces of history really hold the reigns.

* disclaimer: Report contains one or two satirical elements

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